What to do when you're afraid or anxious

It seems the past year or more, my social feed and texts have been full of posts from people who are afraid. Anxious. I have one friend afraid for her little girl who was told on the school bus that her family would have to go "back where they came from." Another said she had been yelled at using racial epithets. Some friends are victims of sexual violence and recent news has triggered deep memories. Others are afraid they could fall victim in a culture that will not defend them. So, what do you do when you're afraid? When you're uncertain about the future?

1. Tell the truth. Allow yourself to grieve and to know that this is OK. But, also tell yourself the good truths you know as well. List the people who love you. Remind yourself of the systems and processes that are in place that ARE trustworthy.

2. Run toward safety. Who in your life represents safety to you? Who can help give you perspective about real risks versus those that may not be so real but are troubling? Surround yourself during this season with safe people.

3. Be gentle. Especially be gentle with yourself. Where you can avoid unnecessary stress, do. When you can delay a big decision, do. Take time to rest and take a break from news and social media to give your head space to be mindful. Be gentle with others especially those you believe are struggling.

4. Be an instrument of hope. Give your time to help someone else. Write a note of appreciation to a friend. Volunteer in a refugee resettlement effort, teach ESL in an after-school program, take your neighbor a surprise. Invest yourself in others as a reminder that we are all in this together - we are all in need of hope and assurance.

5. If you are a person of faith, pray. Meditate on passages that remind you of the truth about yourself, others and God.

6. Seek professional help. This shouldn’t always be your last resort. If you need support, please reach out.

If you do not feel anxious or worried right now, be your best self. Extend empathy to others. As my friend Shannon Sedgwick Davis has said “empathy is what makes us human.” May hope find you today and may you pass it on to others.

(Photo: A very stormy afternoon in San Diego on Harbor Island)

So, what do you do when you're afraid? When you're uncertain about the future?